In defense of equality

Karol Collymore

On Friday, after a judge decided to block domestic partnerships from going into effect on January 2nd, I attended a small gathering with some GLBT friends. It was one of those times where I didn't know what to say, but wanted to find that perfect thing that would some how assuage the sad feelings of the crowd. I had no such jewels of knowledge. All I could say was that I was sorry, because I am, very sorry. Sorry you still can't add your partner's name to your children's birth certificate after 5 years. Sorry you can't trust that your parents won't take rights away from your partner if something terrible happens. Sorry about that insurance coverage. Oh, and I'm sorry you've been in love for 30 years and no one will validate you. I was talking to Roey Thorpe - former director of Basic Rights Oregon - about my need for a consise statement about this event and she said, "Well Karol, it's just mean." And we all had some cocktails.

And it is just mean. It's mean that people must stand helpless while forces out of their control decide what is right and what is wrong for their relationships. It was mean every other time through history when people were not allowed to be with the person they chose and it is still mean now. I have written many times here and tried to make as many correlations as I could to my own racial history, my own non-mainstream relationship, and to the responsibility we as good liberals have to support furthering equality for gays and lesbians. But now, I'm just mad, mad because there are more of "us" than there are of "them" and our voices need rise to ensure equality.

I don't want to hear anymore about people's Christian beliefs and abominations. And I do not want to hear from anymore politicians about how they support the GLBT community but only in as much as they can get a campaign donation. Those buts really get in the way, don't they? Christ didn't stand on a rock and say, "ban gays from being together!" He said, ""Do unto others as you would have done unto you." If Christ is such a reliable source - politicians and Christians - why don't you use what he actually said? I would like for someone to fight like Hell for me if my people were being hurt. Oh wait, someone did. Lots of someones did and they weren't all Black. And they weren't all Hispanic when they fought for farm workers. The list goes on; you don't need me to tell you your history. The simple truth is that White people stood to defend equality and made the difference in ensuring justice happened. By adding these voices, these Black and Brown people were no longer in the minority. Straight Oregonians can do the same now.

We all have a choice and a voice to ensure that this inequality does not happen any more in our state. Yes we can vote, we can write checks, but can we do more? I say yes. Straight GLBT allies, let us do more than what we do now. Join the GLBT community after work on Wednesday. They will be standing together in vigil at 5:30 pm at the Q Center. Together, straight and gay will join to say that any injustice will not stand and we no longer wait for change.

The one thing that is missing in this fight you and me saying, "hey, this is mean."

  • Kathryn Martini (unverified)
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    Thank you for your stand and for enlisting others to do the same. My partner and I had this very same conversation last night and I'm happy to read it hear in print for others to ponder. This has stopped being a gay thing and is now a human rights thing. Enough is enough.

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    Thank you for this post. I'm angry too; not just as a member of the LGBTQ community but as an American and a human being, as well. I am SO tired of a small group of hating, judgemental people playing to the lowest denominator in order to exert their will over entire groups of people.

    This isn't just a LGBTQ issue. We have to remember that this law applies to everyone. The families and relationships of straight couples, as well as same-sex couples are being held hostage by people who have decided that there is only one way to be a family, to live and to be.

    Now, I don't have rose-colored glasses on when it comes to looking at the "principles" that this country was founded on, but I do believe in the possibilities of what we COULD be and, contrary to our current leadership, most of America believes in that, too.

    We have to be allies to each other and stop allowing ourselves to be divided. That tactic has worked for far too long. Attending the vigil is a good start.

    I'll put a plug in here. There is a GLBT Democratic Caucus here in Multnomah County (scarily enough, it is one of only 2-3 organized Democratic caucuses here-hint hint!). Attend the meetings (first Tuesday of the month at the Democratic Headquarters on SE 9th Ave.-7:00 p.m.), join the caucus, whether you are LGTBQ or not. It's fairly new and is already affecting change, but we have to put our numbers together and let the haters (of any kind) know that we won't be divided, or defeated.

    Thanks again for this post of support.

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    Oregonian37 -- Thanks for the heads-up on the DPO GLBT caucus. When's the meeting this month? (Presumably, it's not on New Year's Day, right?)

  • Rose Wilde (unverified)
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    It is mean.

    The other day I sat with a friend who told me about her experience in the State Capitol testifying in support of HB 2007 and SB 2, the domestic partnership and anti-discrimination bills. She told me about having to walk through throngs of hateful opponents, who yelled insults at her and who harassed her colleague in the bathroom. "Are you a boy or a girl" the hateful person asked of our (very obviously female) friend.

    She told me about being all alone at times in the throng, fearful of what people who say and do to her, just for being a lesbian who wanted to have the same rights as her hetero friends. (Next time, I'll take the day off to go up as an ally. I wish had last time.)

    There was a lengthy semantic discussion earlier on Blue Oregon, and I am frankly disappointed in all of us for missing the point: equal protection under the law.

    So, I would like to see more of a unified front for equal rights, and stop the debates about marriage/religion/etc. Clearly we need a civil marriage option (or union or partnership) that is available to all adults. If people also want religious marriage, this is already available.

    Remember when the federal government actually intervened when states failed to assure equal access to education in Alabama? Such a shame something as simple as adults choosing who to love is not protected by any level of government.

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    I'm sorry that the Oregon Sec. State's office plays so fast and loose with the initiative process and has politicized the process to the point that they have invited this lawsuit.

    Instead of playing straight up and defending the sanctity of the initiative process and the sanctity of the voter's signature, and... and allowing Oregonians to have a conversation on the issue and a vote, instead tried to keep this off the ballot by denying the civil rights of Oregon voters.

    Remember it was Tim Nesbitt who said to a Senate Committee in 2003 that the signature on an intitiative petition is just as important as a vote on the ballot.

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    Kari, The meeting will be on January 8th, same place, same time.

    Thanks:)

  • liberalincarnate (unverified)
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    -Coyote,

    The counting process is the same for EVERY other prospective ballot measure in Oregon. If you don't like it, by all means, create your own ballot initiative to change it.

    It is highly ironic that these bigots are asking for "special rights", isn't it?

    The fact is, TIME is on our side. In the end, we will be victorious. The "Y" Generation does not have any illusions that being gay is an anathema to being human. Give another decade or so, this will be a distant memory. However, where will be the justice for those of us that have waited so long? That is my concern. JUSTICE is what I want.

  • Lewis (unverified)
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    I think one of the funniest things -- it actually makes me giggle a little -- is to know, for a fact, that Jesus Christ, were he present today, would have NOTHING TO DO with the vast majority of those who call themselves his followers. And that, my friends, gives me hope.

  • Ron Hager (unverified)
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    Sorry Coyote, but in my opinion you are either ignorant of the political cheating practiced in the initiative process or you are a political cheater yourself. Anyone can sign hundreds of signatures, and I am convinced that many of the signatures collected by the homophobic religious criminals that hosted this campaign were falsified.

  • Dan (unverified)
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    Anger and sadness are useful feelings, they keep us in the fight. But we should not despair. MLK made this quote famous: ''The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.''

    I believe, justice will come for us, perhaps in our lifetimes, if we don't lose faith and stop fighting. Each setback we endure makes us stronger, and this is just one more battle in a war we are bound to win.

    The immorality, evil, and the preposterous hypocrisy which our opponents must increasingly resort is taking its toll. The craven bigotry driving those opposed to justice is destroying the very fabric of what they claim they are attempting to preserve. Fewer and fewer traditional, even fundamentalist, Christians are comfortable with the open vendetta against gays. Time is on our side because we are on the side of justice.

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    Rose,

    If you're referencing the comment thread following Marshall's guest column then please allow me to respond by pointing out that "equal protection under the law" wasn't explicitly mentioned because it was a given in that discussion. And frankly, if we're ever to move beyond discussing equal protection under the law to actually implimenting it then those kinds of discussions would seem to be a necessary part of that process.

  • Laura C (unverified)
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    Kari, The January meeting of the Multnomah County DPO GLBT Caucus is on January 8th at the Democratic Headquarters on SE 9th Ave.-7:00 p.m.

    The DPO GLBT Caucus has active caucus chapters in Multnomah County, Lane County, and the Sagebrush Stonewall Democrats for anyone in the Bend/Central Oregon area. Other caucus chapters are in the process of organizing in Benton, Clackamas, Washington Counties, as well as other parts of the state.

    Any Oregon Democrat can join the caucus, everyone is welcome. To join you can go directly to the Stonewall Oregon Membership page. For more information about the DPO GLBT Caucus follow the links at DPO GLBT Community page.

    FYI, for those not familiar with the origins of how or where the word "Stonewall" came from, see Stonewall riots for a small primer on GLBT history.

    Karol's post is great. Everyone is certainly welcome to come to the vigil and it's a wonderful gesture in support of the GLBT community. DPO GLBT caucus members will be there and can be identified by thier DPO GLBT Caucus buttons (rainbow colored state of Oregon buttons)if anyone has any questions.

    I can understand why some folks would feel that this is strictly a "gay" issue and rationalize that it really doesn't effect their daily lives.

    There is another very valid perspective that the issue is far more than just about equality for a marginalized sexual minority used over and over as a wedge issue.

    I won't add another soap box on top of the one I am already standing on. It would take too long. But I would urge people to read The Rise of the Religious Right in the Republican Party. I think its a great starting point to put history in perspective. The article starts with the quote, "This Republican Party of Lincoln has become a party of theocracy." U.S. Representative Christopher Shays, R-CT, (New York Times 3/23/05)

    Once the shivers from your spine dissipate and your hair uncurls, do yourself the favor of taking a peek behind the curtain right here in Oregon at the pro bono Alliance Defense Fund (ADF)attorneys representing the plaintiffs in the attempt to prevent Domestic Partnerships from becoming law. Take a peek a thier website Alliance Defense Fund. Bill O'rielly has touted them as the antidote to the ACLU, urging conservatives to support the ADF. Check out the "Financial Donors" of the ADF listed in this wikipedia article.

    When you start to peel back the layers of the "non profit" onion, Alliance Defense Fund, Restore America, Focus on the Family, Council for National Policy, etc the tears running down your cheeks should be out of the saddness of what is happening to our great nation and society. It's not just a "gay" issue but one that effects every american.

    "True, people of faith have always tried to bring their interpretation of the Bible to bear on American laws and morals ... it's the American way, encouraged and protected by the First Amendment. But what is unique today is that the radical religious right has succeeded in taking over one of America's great political parties. The country is not yet a theocracy but the Republican Party is, and they are driving American politics, using God as a a battering ram on almost every issue: crime and punishment, foreign policy, health care, taxation, energy,regulation, social services and so on." Bill Moyers, September 9, 2005 Full text of Moyer's address to Union Theological Seminary in New York

    By all means please attend the vigil. More importantly get involved, get engaged, talk to your neighbors, your friends, your family, and your children. Encourage them to do the same. At the very least make sure they have the information in front of them why it is so crucial for all of us to take our country back.

    If you're reading this, the chances are good you can contribute something ($5 - $10 or more a month), host a house party, gather with your friends at your local brewery where everyone contributes the cost of a beer to thier favorite candidate, campaign, or cause. Become a grass roots Democrat. Become a precinct committee person, attend a local Democratic Central Committee meeting.

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    Thanks for your clarity & eloquence Karol.

    Those of us who have kids need to involve them too. My folks were northeastern white middle-class footsoldiers in the Civil Rights movement when my brothers and I were kids. A number of the better parts of the way we turned out go back to learning from their example and the values they taught us, I believe.

    You are dead right: we have a tradition to embrace and energize ourselves around in fighting this meanness, a tradition of love and solidarity. And we need to prepare ourselves mentally now to do what it takes to win the fight if the referendum does go on the ballot.

  • Barney Frank (unverified)
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    [Editor's note: Comment impersonating Congressman Barney Frank deleted.]

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    The sooner we open up marriage to everyone, the better. This is the central civil rights issue of our generation. We have to step up.

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    Coyote is one of the chief writers at NWRepublican, a blog dedicated to perpetuating the kind of fear, hate and meanness Karol speaks against in her post. his post is part of the neocons' on-going attack against this Secretary of State; they don't like his office enforcing the law when it hurts their cause (no matter that most of their crap gets put on the ballot because the SOS respects and upholds the law).

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    Also, signatures are checked in the county elections offices, not the SOS office. The SOS office compiles the random signatures to be verified and sends them to the counties.

    The county elections offices are typically run either by an elected official (county clerk) or by a person hired by the county commission. Their boss isn't the SOS.

    And let me tell you, there are plenty of people watching the process in the counties. Having checked signatures during the 2004 election, I had all kinds of people looking over my shoulder and questioning every ballot I flagged. And almost every one was obvious - name on the envelope and signature were completely different, such as Jane Smith on a ballot for Stephen Smith.

    The SOS compiles the information from all the counties and makes the announcement regarding whether or not a petition has enough signatures.

  • Holly Martins (unverified)
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    “I'm sorry that the Oregon Sec. State's office plays so fast and loose with the initiative process and has politicized the process to the point that they have invited this lawsuit.” Coyote – over in your little fiefdom at N(it) W(it) Republican, this is what you and your acolytes wish to be true simply because the SOS doesn’t toe your right-wing line. Tell you what -- win a statewide election or two, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll get a Republican elected as SOS – but remember: No Rinos.

    “Instead of playing straight up and defending the sanctity of the initiative process and the sanctity of the voter's signature, and... and allowing Oregonians to have a conversation on the issue and a vote, instead tried to keep this off the ballot by denying the civil rights of Oregon voters.”

    And just how is the SOS preventing a conversation? And if our elected legislature vote to extend these rights to the gay and lesbian community how does that violate some principle of representative government? Frankly, the ugly rhetoric spewing forth from conservative, anti-gay websites, not to mention Mr. Mabon’s sour language causes me to shutter when of think of the tack this “conversation” might take.

    We all know exactly what this is all about. There is simply a large portion of the conservative republican base who, because they either explicitly or implicitly advocate for a theocracy, are unreasonably anti-homosexual – and this irrationality manifests itself with this obsession with domestic partnerships. Just take a stroll over to the Restore America website and read this little ditty:

    “Call All Christians to VOTE for those who acknowledge our Christian Heritage and respect God's authority over all mankind, including civil government”

    Okay – respect God’s authority over . . . civil government. That’s theocracy folks, and that’s’ their goal. bin Laden couldn’t have said it better.

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    We should really call a spade a spade, Jenni. This isn't about what signatures are valid and which are not. It is about our country, our state's uncomfortability with homosexuals. Apparently, I missed the memo that told me how scary they are. If there could be honesty in bigotry maybe we could take it head on, but instead it disguises itself in "rules."

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    Karol - This ballot initiative was started because of how uncomfortable some people are with homosexuality, but the issue that the court is considering deals only with whether or not there should be a remedy when signatures on a ballot initiative are wrongly invalidated.

    Ted - So far as I can see, the unwillingness of some clerks to reinstate signatures that have been wrongly invalidated has nothing to do with politicization. There appears to be no statutory basis for applying a remedy.

    Liberalincarnate - If the judge's reasoning for granting a temporary injunction holds up, there won't be a need to file a ballot initiative to change how signatures are counted in Oregon. Oregon's current procedure will be found in violation of the 14th Amendment, and it will have to be changed.

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    Okay – respect God’s authority over . . . civil government. That’s theocracy folks, and that’s’ their goal.

    That is their goal, Holly. And that is their reasoning process too. Which is why I frequently refer to them as modern-day Pharisees. That's what they are. But in their unmitigated arrogance they glibly ignore the reality that they've become that which they claim to disavow - those who stand in opposition to God.

  • Buckman Res (unverified)
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    If there could be honesty in bigotry maybe we could take it head on, but instead it disguises itself in "rules."

    And when you can’t argue convincingly for your position just throw out the “bigot/racist” label while claiming the moral high-ground, “rules” be dammed. It often works to stifle debate on everything from illegal immigration to street naming controversies.

    If you really want to call a spade a spade then you know it is all about the process, one where all sides are supposed to be heard. Like it or not, that’s how it works in a democracy.

  • Rose Wilde (unverified)
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    "If you're referencing the comment thread following Marshall's guest column then please allow me to respond by pointing out that "equal protection under the law" wasn't explicitly mentioned because it was a given in that discussion."

    Okay, I'll accept that everyone in this thread agrees that equal rights is the issue here. It would make sense to agree upon one course of action, led by BRO and other GBLT leadership groups (such as the DPO GBLT caucus). I supported domestic partnership because BRO was in favor of the bill, although I wasn't persuaded that DPs were the same as marriage. In my one year of political involvement, I've seen purists stop the process (or try). So, I hope that the fierce opposition we are now encountering is a sign that DPs are another step to equality.

    Agreed, Kevin, that discussing the implementation is critical to moving from theory to action. Touche.

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    Rose, I agree with you about DPs. I very much subscribe to the "progress rather than perfection" philosophy. What I was laying out in that other thread was my idea of perfection and why I see it that way.

    For those who see DPs as being told to sit in the back of the bus, I would argue that they're using the wrong analogy. The better analogy, IMO, would be the Civil War where a war had to be fought first before full emancipation could be implimented. Granted, things didn't turn out as Lincoln might have envisioned. But then again, he was assassinated for a reason... Perhaps the civil rights act many decades later would have been uneccesary had Lincoln lived to see his vision enacted.

    I see DPs (ala what the Oergon legislature passed) as a battle in the war rather than as the culmination of the war. For that reason, I see berating legislators for not having won the entire war in one fell swoop as unrealistic and, frankly, unproductive.

  • Laura C (unverified)
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    "For those who see DPs as being told to sit in the back of the bus, I would argue that they're using the wrong analogy."

    Yes it is the wrong anaolgy. DPs and civil unions are not equal to marriage. Also it's not like riding in the back of the bus. Atleast when you ride in the back of the bus, you pay your fare like everyone else and get off the bus at all the same stops. DP's are a totally separate bus and not all the stops are available. In fact the folks who can ride in the front of the bus with all the stops aren't allowed on DP bus. So not only is it separate but it's also not equal.

    However, there are a lot of Oregonians who deserve and need the rights granted by HB 2007 who would have probably gone without, for who knows how long, had a campaign to repeal/amend the constitutional definition of marriage been the path taken. So maybe if there's an analogy to be made, HB 2007 was like putting a spare on the car to replace a flat along the way. There's still a lot of miles along the way.

    And when you can’t argue convincingly for your position just throw out the “bigot/racist” label while claiming the moral high-ground, “rules” be dammed. It often works to stifle debate on everything from illegal immigration to street naming controversies.

    QUESTION: What if we substitute "bigot/racist" and insert "bible quotations" then substitute "rules" with "constitution"?

    ANSWER: Someone who can't argue their position convincingly.

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    That works too, Laura. The relevant point being that it's not a final destination but rather part of a journey.

  • Kurt Chapman (unverified)
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    Thanks Karol,"Hey, this is mean". It sucks. But, is it legal and allowed under our current initiative and legal system?

    I didn't really even track the petition process because I didn't think that it would go anywhere. If I understand correctly, the initiative was kicked out for less than 125 valid signatures. Hmmm. Again, I don't follow those processes and probably should have.

    Hatred abounds on both sides of most issues. Here, in this one, the outcome is mean. It is apparently designed to dealy or deny equal rights to those merely because of who they are, who they love and who they want to be with.

    Hopefully the hearing in February will put this all to rest and those denied can move forward.

    Again, it is mean.

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    <h2>Thank you Karol.</h2>

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