The Onion: Iowa Resident Has Opinion Month Too Late (2004)

Charlie Burr

February 18, 2004 | Issue 40•07

STORM LAKE, IA—Four weeks after the Iowa Democratic caucus, livestock farmer Darryl Welch, 48, expressed an informed opinion about the candidates Monday. "I like what John Edwards says about rebuilding international alliances to fight terror, but I think some of the programs he supports would mean higher taxes," Welch said Monday. "I wish I'd have said that to all those AP reporters, instead of telling them that I didn't know who I wanted to vote for yet." Unfortunately, Welch's opinions will not be relevant for another three years and 11 months.

Here's to a strong showing from the Darryl Welches of the world tomorrow!

By Charlie Burr Jan. 02, 2008