Bootstraps or Jackboots for the Parasites

Pat Ryan

As my old boss Bob T used to say, I've about had a butt full of these Welfare Queens and Deadbeat Dads who are still sucking the life out of the middle class even though we've tried on and off for decades to get 'em off the dole and hopefully get involved in know..........producing something and contributing to society.

Now we took a crack at this when the Clinton administration grabbed one of these pointy headed professor types. You know the kind. They believe in self-actualization, moral relativism and all of the 080328_mccaingramm_lerer predictable crap. Well this guy, Professor Gramm, fit the stereotype and as a bonus had a accomplished and intelligent Asian American wife [Stuff White People Like #11]  to slot into the Clinton system. The goal was clear. The lost souls in the Money Bidness were to be given a hand up, but always  in the context of fostering growth and self esteem. To this end, they would be allowed to experiment with new avenues of self-empowerment. The Power Couple got off to a pretty good start, and before you know it newly empowered day traders at the big energy companies were on the phones to power plants, turning switches on and off for a few hours across the system while gaining fractions of a cent on hundreds of thousands of shares, thus mugging all of the Little Old Ladies in the neighborhood, every taxpaying and pension holding one of 'em. And yeah, you and I see the danger here, but this kind of permissiveness is par for the course with these self-styled intellectuals.

The kids must  be allowed to experiment in order to grow, and these guys did both. They invented all kinds of new and arcane financial instruments that were undreamed of in the Go Go, Greed is Good '80s, and soon the sidewalks were covered with hustlers running Three Card Monte and Craps and offering improbably cheap Rolexes to their neighbors, yet despite all of this the Power Couple stepped off with the Clintons, secure in the knowledge that The Adults in the Oal bidness coming in to office would continue to handle their charges with a gentle and respectful support for their budding positive self images.

Now George himself was one of these Affirmative Action students and his veep was all about entitlement too, even remarking on one occasion to an insufficiently bloodthirsty George, that another round of tax cuts for the Guys at the Top was of course in order, saying: "It's Our Due". Both did poorly in The Invisible Hand Bidness, but did well eonough when attached periodically for rejuvenating meals to the loving bosom of the state. They were obviously Socialists, at least when it came to them and their friends, but these guys didn't screw around.

They were first and foremost Original Gangsters and when some punk down the street cuts you off and starts selling product to other Crews, you take 'em out. It's about turf, and if you let rivals or your homies see you give ground, pretty soon, they just won't fear you. Yeah, it might cost you a couple of trillion but when you get 'em in the basement with the blowtorch, they' should, by god, offer the product back to you on very favorable terms. At the same time, the gangbangers were going hog wild in The Street. Rainbows began to fade over the drooping unicorn horns and Mortgage Brokers, Bankers, Investment Bankers, Oil Traders, and other members of this tiny minority group had run their country and their companies into the ground.

Weird entities with these cutesy names, like Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac, and the rest of the Usual suspects were pulling warm Benjamins directly from the printing presses. The whole neighborhood was pretty much in decline, and everybody else was living on credit, what with holding about zero assets and all. Still, even though you just couldn't keep up with the demand for exotic cars in Manhattan showrooms, the danged furriners were starting to refuse to take our warm new money at face value, so what to do? What liberal socialists always do in these circumstances, stick it to the taxpayers.

I'm sick of government using our tax dollars to pay for other people's selfish and foolish choices . Generations of these people spend their lives dependent on public institutions to insulate them from the consequences of their anti-social behavior, and frankly it just encourages them to want more and more. Endless cycles of violence result from allowing these street thugs to terrorize our community with no restraint. The only answer here is harsh and punitive measures. We must establish boundaries for these wayward predators and I recommend putting the boots to the ones that fail to fall in line, and perhaps an occasional execution of the Special Cases said to be Too Big To Fail.

Professor Gramm and his lovely wife occasionally still venture from the Ivy Tower and on those occasions the professor counsels the Whiners of America to Suck it Up while peering myopically over the shoulder of the doddering Republican Presidential Candidate as he stops at various spots on the campaign trail to yell at clouds.

You can't cure stupid, but maybe you can condition a response.

  • christopher (unverified)

    Amen, my friend, amen.

  • Ten Bears (unverified)

    Actually, there is a cure for stupid. Death. Rightfully so.

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    Can't believe the Ivy Tower thing.....

    Must have read ovcer it at least ten or twelve times.

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    My favorite part of this post is that I can actually hear Pat Ryan's voice in my head when I read it.


  • Tom Civiletti (unverified)

    Privatize the profits, socialize the costs should be in the preamble of the Constitution, as it is the basis for more governmental action than any of the purposes enumerated there. It is unfortunate that free speech protection extends to the bribing of candidates for office. This is the mechanism that makes corporate welfare not only possible, but inevitable.

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    It has been occurring to me in recent days that any entity said to be "too big to fail" should be a candidate for anti-trust law dismemberment.

    A favorite trope of this particular kind of anti-social three card monte is confusing people with the similarity of the words competition (good, in context) and competitiveness (too much of which defines oligopoly or monopoly).

  • johnnie (unverified)

    Unfortunately the only response has been from the WSJ and McSame:

    Of course McSame wasn't availble for voting against the bill - but then again, niether was Obama.

    What's Obama's stance? Should we speculate from his relationships with Raines, Johnson, Gorelick who amassed millions under the guise of helping the poor buy homes.

    The political class loves a socialist-capitalist hybrid as all political parties become wealthy and help solidify power in D.C.

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    Yah, but did anybody follow the link to Stuff White People Like?

  • MCT (unverified)

    You know I get this....but unfortunately the only stories we hear lately are from those who are appalled and/or angry that this is going to cost Tax Dollars. And that only the Stupid would have signed up for a sub-prime loan.
    Well a) once it was affirmed they had a pulse and could get a home loan, the Stupid were assured they would later be able to refinance into a 30 yr fixed loan. No worries. But instead the lenders stiffened up the lending qualifications, forcing the Stupid into default, assisting in the crash of the housing market. Oh and the credit scoring racket changed too. b) While GW was touting "home-ownership for all Americans!" Roland Arnall, the founder of the shadiest sub-prime lender Ameriquest, was quietly fund raising & pumping up Dubbya's re-election campaign the tune of $7.8 mil. Friggin' thugs. Back then Americans were distracted by the erroneous conviction that we had a Patriotic reason for going to war. c) The people complaining about tax dollars going to rescue lenders and thereby borrowers are not the only ones who've paid taxes. The Stupid paid taxes too. Why shouldn't tax dollars go to assist tax payers? Consider it an act of charity. I see my tax dollars squandered on things I don't approve of every day. d) Why aren't these very same writers compaining about the amount of tax dollars being spent to assist the slaughter of US soldiers in senseless wars, while Bush cronies get rich from it? I can pretty much figure out why most of these writers are not screaming about all the tax breaks that have been given to the wealthy. e) Most of the Stupid were completely unaware the game of hot potato/musical chairs that was being played with their loans by Wall St. They trusted information and assurances they got from people who were supposed to be looking out for their best interests. However I do know some Realtors who're being destroyed by risky loans on their own THAT is Stupid.

    Sure it would feel cleansing to chase down corporate pillagers and make them pay....but at this point their money is sunning itself in the Grand Caymans, and we have yet to instate laws that would preclude this sort of plundering in the future. All we have left is a recession and thousands of families about to lose (or have lost) everything they're worked all their lives for. While thousands of houses sit empty and unsold by the banks. Now you tell me why it didn't make more sense for the banks to renegotiate mortgages before they repossessed a house and short-sold it at a 'loss'?

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    Hope you haven't misunderstood my use of the term stupid.

    I am talking about the pushers of this 18th century Invisible Hand trope as being applicable to the intentionally complex 21st century marketplace, Like Phil Gramm, Grover Norquist, Newt Gingrich, Their corporatist enablers and co-conspirators in the Whitehouse for the past 30 years, and their followers on Wall Street, not subprime purchaser.

    A lot of the rest of the rhetoric was a (possibly lame) attempt to lampoon dogmatic righty talking points.

    But I get it, that if an expalnation is required I've failed in my efforts..........

  • MCT (unverified)

    I get the satire, Pat. And the jabs at corporate welfare. You haven't failed! The fact remains that not doing something about the mess would be throwing the baby out with the bathwater. But unless you are writing at the genius level of Jonathan Swift, a little more of a wink & a smirk is required.

    An yes it is not just the housing & mortgage market....Wall St. has a history of creating its own reality. I've been watching a portfolio on Green investments....wait till you see what Wall St. will do to some well-intentioned upstart visionaries on that front as soon as the government makes Sustainable a priority. They are already pumping and dumping our hopes for the future, and damaging the viability of inovative some very technology. I wouldn't use the term selish and foolish when referring to their choices.....they were selfish and calculating.

  • johnnie (unverified)

    Pat - you might as well add to Phil Gramm, Grover Norquist, Newt Gingrich with:

    Clinton (two) Raines Dodd Coburn Gorelick Pelosi Reid

    Speaking of Pelosi/Ried. Anyone notice The K Street Project is more powerful and bigger than when Delay ran it? If it's a bad thing when Delay runs it (it is) then it's bad when Pelosi/Ried run it....

    While there may be differences in words spoke between the parties, there actions aren't.

    Pretty much the same party from where Joe Six Pack is sitting.

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