Office Pool, Blue Oregon Version

Jeff Alworth

Each year, William Safire publishes his annual "Office Pool" column at the Times.  (Maybe because this will be his last, this year's is a little weak.)  Here's a homegrown version Kari and I whipped up.  As Safire says, "gotta play for the right to hoot."  Enjoy.

1.  The Trailblazer who will not be in the lineup at season's end is: a) Damon Stoudamire, b)  Shareef Abdur-Rahim, c) Theo Ratliff, d) Darius Miles, e)  Joel Przybilla.

2. The legislative scandal most likely to occur is: a) Representative Dan Doyle will fail to pay his taxes on time yet again, and will resign from the Ways & Means chairmanship; b) Sen. Ginny Burdick and Rep. Larry Galizio will be found to be on the payroll of the National Rifle Association, promoting anti-gun legislation in order to boost NRA coffers; c) Senator Avel Gordly will endorse a Republican for statewide office (Sorry, she's already done that a bunch of times.); d) Rep. Donna Nelson's hair will finally become a actual sentient lifeform and begin casting votes on the House floor, overruling Donna herself.

3.  The abandoned Vera Katz project most likely to be revived: a) relocation of Portlandia to Waterfront Park, b) capping I-405, c) major league baseball team finally comes to PDX, d) Memorial Coliseum athletic project.

4.  The surprise legislation emerging from this year's legislative session: a) in order to prevent video slots, an unlikely alliance of conservative Christian Republicans and fiscally-conscious Dems unite to kick the kicker and create a rainy day fund, b) a nickel-a-cup java tax, c) the newly-formed "Private Prisons and Public Schools" coalition delivers an extra $500 million to school coffers--and $100 million to Wackenhut, d) a state sales tax. 

5.  Which species will be the biggest loser in 2005?  a) Klamath basin salmon, b) "healthy forests," c) Willamette River frogs, d) coastal marbled murrelet, e) Northern spotted owl.

6.  The impossible-to-believe miracle of 2005 will be:   a) The Oregonian will finally design a website that's actually usable; b) The GOP will find a gubernatorial candidate that can win statewide; c) Phil Stanford will raise 1500 $5 checks, winning a steak dinner from Morton's from Kari; d) Republicans will finally find and eliminate all that waste, fraud, and abuse in our state budget that they're really, really sure is lying around somewhere.

7.  The likely legislative outcome will be: a) after a rocky beginning, Peter Courtney, Karen Minnis, and the governor hold a series of private meetings and hammer out a series of agreements about the budget, b) after a rocky beginning, Minnis imposes a "majority of the majority" rule in the House and stops speaking to Courtney, leading to the longest session in Oregon history, c) after a rocky beginning, Courtney and Minnis agree to disagree; pass governor's budget mostly as is, d) after a surprisingly smooth beginning, subcommittees in the House and Senate pound together a new tax code, adding fairness and sustainability and increasing net revenues by $350 million a year.

8.  The politician most likely to switch parties is: a) Senator Avel Gordly (D->R); b) Clackamas County Commissioner Larry Sowa (D->R); c) Senator Frank Morse (R->D).

By Jeff Alworth Dec. 31, 2004