All I Want for Christmas...

Anne Martens

A visit from the Ghost of Supreme Courts Past. I'd like to see a gaunt and translucent William J. Brennan, still in black robes, rise up and take both John Roberts and Sam Alito on a tour of the evolution from presumably conservative to constitutionally brilliant. And smack them on the noggin with a positively corporeal gavel if they don't get it. This Justice ain't blind.

A way to track congressional votes by astrological sign (yay, this one came early!). Are Virgos' logic and reason more or less hawkish than Pisces' emotion and intuition? Are Taurus' (Tauri?) as stubborn on the floor as they are in the bedroom? Does the Libra-Aries love-hate relationship translate into more or less political compromise? Finally, we have the technology to find out!

Bribes. I will happily auction my vast political influence to the highest bidder in exchange for home furnishings. My tastes run a bit more modern and eclectic than Sir Duke Cunningham's, but I'll take antiques if that's all you've got. If you really want to swing an election, kick me a Hummer H3 (the H2 is such a pain to parallel park).

A rope. Long enough to let the Republicans hang themselves. Good government without Delay. Schadenfreude, baby!

Christians to stop whining about the persecution of Christmas. Yes, it is a Christmas tree (and yes, it used to be a pagan Saturnalia tree, but we'll leave that aside for now). Why is it so horrible for private business and public government to use the word "holiday" for the sake of being all-inclusive? Christians are not an oppressed minority. No violent mob is ransacking Christian houses and burning down their so-called Christmas tree in protest. Quite the contrary – seems some fat man in velvet hands out presents. Why can't you actually be the bigger person for once (WWJD) and accept that it's Christmas in your house but it doesn't have to be called Christmas everywhere just to validate your beliefs. No true Christian will forget that it's Christmas just because the Fred Meyer circular says "Happy Holidays" instead. And god bless the rest of the religions for putting up with this nonsense every year.

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    I love you just a little bit more than I did.

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    Let the lovefest begin:

    Anne Martens linked to our anti-DeLay event tomorrow and so what I want for Christman is for Anne to have the best Christmas ever!

    Well done!

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    Christmas...not Christman (that sounds like a super hero).

    Too much coffee today!

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    Belly laugh and forwarded to friends. Ann you made everyone's day!

  • dmrusso (unverified)


    Thanks so much for your article. I have a great deal of respect for my Christian family members and friends. None that I can think of are particularly worried about someone saying "Happy Holidays" over "Merry Christmas". (And it's "Happy Christmas" for many Brits!)

    December is a time of year for many faiths to celebrate. Businesses are smart to cater to all people as best they can. That is... well, good business. We attack corporations left and right, but on this PR campaign, they've got it right.

    Thanks again, Anne. I wish all here on BlueOregon Happy Holidays, no matter what the holiday is or how you choose to celebrate it. Do it with friends and family and appreciate what we have and give to those that have little.

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    Among those deadly anti-Christmas "foes" (see Jerry Falwell) are George Bush, who wished 1.4 million of his closest supporters "Happy Holidays," and the Fox empire, which did the same.

    Feliz Navidad!

  • Kim Maddaluna (unverified)

    I can’t recall the last time I walked into a Retail store and was told “Happy Chaunkkah” Happy Ramadan” "Happy Kwanza", This is another political stunt from of wonderful administration to gain Support from the misinformed right wing conservatism. I truly wish these people would think about what the rest of the world is thinking about this nonsense. We look like a country full of idiots. This religious freedom they are barking about really makes them a bunch of hypocrites. They are showing the Muslims in the world it only works for them. I guess we can now label them the Christen jihad.

  • Gil Johnson (unverified)

    Somewhere around the house I have an old Saturday Evening Post (could be Look) with a Coca Cola ad depicting a big old happy red Santa and the headline reading, "Happy Holidays." Go figure.

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    Back in the day, Fundy Christians used to rail against Santa Claus, Christmas trees, Easter bunnies, and all of Halloween as being basically pagan in nature and detracting from the Christian-centric nature of the holiday.

    That heartfelt position was not getting anyone any votes, as those disposed to paranoia and rigidity were arrayed against Madison Avenue rather than the ACLU, so the newer brighter dogma has to defending these erstwhile symbols of paganism.

    Oh, yeah........reminder:

    It was Coca Cola that invented our current (US) Santa Claus, who of course, wears the company colors as he perpetrates his annual home invasion agenda.

    I'm calling America's Most Wanted......

  • Danny Haszard (unverified)

    WHY-Jehovah's Witnesses don't do Christmas

    I was born Jehovah's Witness 1957 3rd generation.Yup,we didn't celebrate Christmas and were miserable the rest of the year too.

    The reason JW's don't do Christmas is because their Watchtower leaders say so,the holiday has pagan aspects to it and by rejecting it the Watchtower appears "pure".

    This "demand for purity" is one of the 8 marks of a cult.NOW the Watchtower can use this purity diversion to distract from their own immoral practices.-Danny Haszard Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses Rockland Massachusetts

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