Orange Alert Day

Brendan Deiz

It's an Orange Alert Day, somebody brought toothpaste on the airplane, and I think I'm getting a migraine sorting all the billboards in my brain.

Instead of a comic today, thought I would post a song. Might be a week or two late, but I felt this song appropriate after the fun we all had at the airport during the holiday season. It's called "Orange Alert Day".

Orange Alert Day

It's an orange alert day
Somebody brought toothpaste on the airplane
And I think I'm getting a migraine
Sorting all the billboards in my brain!

It's not communists, now, it's terrorists,
drug-pushing pimps, illegal immigrants
The news caster makes war seem fun
'Cause his parent company supplies the guns
I turn on the TV and it screams
Its way into my dreams
That little box took my imagination
It's got me out shopping instead of creating

Does history happen to me?
Or do I happen to history?

It's an orange alert day
Somebody brought toothpaste on the airplane
And I think I'm getting a migraine
Sorting all the billboards in my brain!
It's an orange alert day
Somebody brought toothpaste on the airplane
Maybe my stomach's been feeling sick
Because of swallowing all this bullshit!

Some patriotic love before Two Minutes Hate
You're what you own, and everything's just great
Against science we've been waging a war
But “faith alone won't sustain us” no more!
Then we'll pretend the environment's partisan
While kids who act like kids get put on Ritalin
Taught from early on to take, take, take
And then we wonder why we're all overweight!

Now it's an orange alert day
Somebody brought toothpaste on the airplane
And I think I'm getting a migraine
Sorting all the billboards in my brain!

Does history happen to me?
Or do I happen to history?
Do things just happen to me?
What do I believe?
Teach yourself to think!

Now it's an orange alert day
Somebody brought toothpaste on the airplane
And I think I'm getting a migraine
Sorting all the billboards in my brain!
Now it's a red alert day
We need a new excuse to invade
Keep the global order in place
Bringin' the heathens forced, fake “free trade”
It's a yellow alert day
You'd better get on your knees and pray
So Jesus can come take us away
After we leave Earth a barren waste
Now it's an orange alert day!
Now it's a red alert day!
It's a yellow alert day!
HA HA HA!

  • (Show?)

    Is the culture crazy and absurd? Yes, but do we have to be crazy and absurd too? It's hard but we can make a choice. Thanks for your poem.

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