I'm BAAAAAAACK

Jason Evans

I’m just a guy who loves a guy who lives in Portland, OR. I am a corporate rat in a maze that has no cheese at the end. In fact, there is no end…only circular trails leading to the epicenter known as profit for everyone else but me.

Naturally, my first post is going to be about the Multnomah County commissioners.

Who in the hell told Serena Cruz that scarves are an acceptable fashion accessory in the 21st century? I mean, really...even Oprah gave up the scarf when she realized that it didn’t really hide her ample ass.

Did Diane Linn ever get to meet her real parents? Who knew that the Scarecrow and Martha Stewart ever got together? Of course, the 62 year old Martha knew the Scare Crow when he was a wee blade of grass in a field…

The only other real topic to go over is the race for Mayor of Portland, which is sizing up to be about as interesting as a Microsoft-sponsored winter slug race. Francesconi is seeking as many asses as he can to host his formidable schnoz. Potter is laying low, preferring to be the martyr for the “little guy”. Francesconi is enlisting the help of an army of poop-chute surrogates to assist in slinging as much diaper-gravy as he can at Potter. Potter, on the other hand, is doing the “duck and cover” deep in the annals of The Egyptian Room. If things follow true to political nature, then Francesconi will become mayor even though Potter would have won the “popular vote”.

Oh yeah, there’s that whole “gay marriage” thing. Been there, done that. I'm all for it still, don't get me wrong. However, simply put, marriage isn’t all that it’s cut out to be. It most certainly isn’t the “foundation of society”, nor is it the cornerstone of civilization. It’s a legal establishment between two people for governmental recognition and benefits. Plain and simple. If marriage was so sacred and holy, then it wouldn’t be necessary to APPLY FOR A LICENSE when you decided to do it. Who knew that Oregon, of all states, would find holier-than-thou christian pundits crawling out of the woodwork to oppose same-sex unions? Of course, it really is only the backwoods (whoops, rural - that includes you in Clackamas) churches that are the most vehemently opposed to same-sex marriage.

Anyhoo, that's all for now. It's late, and "the man" is calling for me to wake up in the morning.

Have fun, y'all!

Comments

  • (Show?)

    Wow... Well, we did promise the good folks that BlueOregon wouldn't be boring. Being fashion-challenged myself, I have no idea what's wrong with scarves... Care to elaborate?

  • Jason Evans (unverified)
    (Show?)

    gasp I cannot believe that you have to ask such a question, Kari! What Oprah does, Gawd does! Scarves of a silk design are reserved for little elderly ladies who've just had their hair rolled for the week by that really nice "effeminate" man at the salon. Oprah saw fit to ditch her shoulder scarves and haul a wagon of fat around on stage instead. I would hope that the Multnomah County Commissioners would have the same concern for the people's delicate morality.

  • Bob R. (unverified)
    (Show?)

    I thought scarves were to hide the alien implant scars. At least that's what my xenophysiogist told me.

    (and smooches to my hubby wub Jason.)

    "marriage isn’t all that it’s cut out to be" - Gasp! Is there something I should know?

    • Bob

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