Sten to Propose Renaming City
City Commissioner Erik Sten today announced his intentions to rename the City of Portland to reflect its increasingly left-wing personality. The new name? The People's Republic of Portland
"I considered 'Little Beirut,' but it's kind of obscure. I didn't want people to think that we were criticizing our Lebanese brothers and sisters." Given that the vibrant cultural heart of the city - zip code 97214 - is already known in political circles as "The Kremlin" it just makes sense to rename the entire city.
After years of debate about where the iconic Portlandia ought to be moved, Mayor Tom Potter proposed a solution. "Leave the statue where she is. Move the Portland Building. That 1980's era monstrosity can go. It's time for some proper architecture that really reflects our community's style."
Sten acknowledged that some residents might consider this an overly radical act. But, Sten pointed out, those people can move to Gresham. Or maybe Hillsboro. Or go north to Van-tucky.
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April 1, 2005 |
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Comments
Posted by: Kari Chisholm | Apr 1, 2005 11:40:02 AM
These are definitely not all me. The April Fool's Day series at BlueOregon (yes, there's more) was developed collaboratively by Jeff Alworth, Jesse Cornett, Trey Smith and me.
Posted by: Jeff Alworth | Apr 1, 2005 11:54:04 AM
I categorically deny any involvement here.
Posted by: Trey | Apr 1, 2005 12:02:51 PM
And I categorically deny any involvement in whatever it is that Jeff is categorically denying.
Posted by: Jesse Cornett | Apr 1, 2005 12:11:15 PM
Ditto.
Posted by: phriedom | Apr 1, 2005 1:20:03 PM
There are more coming? Oh, please, no. Its getting so there is no point in even reading the news today. Slashdot has about 20. Even boingboing got into it.
Okay, enough already. It's April 1st, we get it.
Lets make a fake news report about the POTUS changing his mind on tax cuts or a recount in Florida, or some other obvious stuff. Haha.
Nice picture of Portlandia in front of Minarets though. Thats prety cool.
Posted by: Jeff Alworth | Apr 1, 2005 1:22:13 PM
I say one day of 365 days is not NEARLY enough to ignore real news and substitute it with the fake stuff. We should have periodic blackouts just to cleanse our brains.
Posted by: Charlie Burr | Apr 1, 2005 2:42:28 PM
I think Patchoulandia has a nicer, more "mellow" ring to it.
Posted by: Susan | Apr 1, 2005 3:06:09 PM
My dad has always called my adopted hometown the People's Republic of Portland and claims I now live on the Left Coast.
No fooling.
Posted by: allehseya | Apr 2, 2005 11:51:24 AM
I think Patchoulandia has a nicer, more "mellow" ring to it.
heh.
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Posted by: cc | Apr 1, 2005 10:53:32 AM
Me thinks some Blue Oregonians (Kari) have way too much time on their hands today. ;-) But the best part is that moment where you forget that it's April Fools and go "What the $@%#? That's gotta be some kinda...." And then it clicks and the funny sets in. Good stuff.
(Please tell me I'm not the only one who forgets throughout the entire day that it's April Fools until a joke is played - then immediately forgets again. lol)