Wonkette on Novick

Kari Chisholm FacebookTwitterWebsite

OK, so I ran into Charlie Burr today and mentioned the Wonkette piece. I meant the one about Willamette Week, but he busts out with "The one about Novick? That was pretty funny..."

And I gotta agree, the post - and the comments - are some of the funniest and most ridiculous stuff in this Senate race.

But, it's kinda harsh on Novick and some of his diehard fans may not get the funny, so I wasn't going to post it. Until, that is, I noticed that the Novick campaign posted it on their own site.

Whatever else you say about Steve, at least the guy knows how to laugh at himself. (Anybody else ready for this primary to be over?)

Anyway, without further ado...

Oregon Senate Candidate: Actually Jesus?

OMG. Steve Novick is a hobbit from Oregon who is running for Senate as a Democrat, and he also has a hook hand. He opens a beer with his HOOK HAND, and it's among the better things we've seen in life. He also owns an HDTV and is an Arugula Liberal Elitist. Vote Steve Novick! We must get this man to Washington so he can open beers for us, like a pirate.

Read the hilarity in the comments over at Wonkette.

Comments

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    Oh, and I should probably disclaim here: I built Jeff Merkley's website, but I speak only for myself.

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    Ah, Wonkette.

    What was her original claim to fame?

    Oh, right. I remember now.

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    Hmmm... I think you may be confusing Wonkette with Washingtonienne...

  • backbeat, woman (unverified)
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    Hmmm... I think you may be confusing Wonkette with Washingtonienne...

    Um, no. Wonkette wrote and wrote and wrote about her dear friend, the mysterious butt-sex-with-congressmen-fiend, Washingtonienne. The whole thing started at Wonkette.

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    ESPN Magazine. Fortune. Wonkette. And on and on.

    The amount of national attention that Novick will get is amazing. Right now we're a mid-tier Senate race (8th or 9th). Novick will bring us up, because he makes for such a good story and is such a good candidate.

    Sometimes as politicos we stick our heads in the polls and forget the value of a good story.

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    Blog history: Ana Marie Cox, now with Time, was the original Wonkette. It was she who chronicled the Washingtonienne saga. Wonkette is now a brand with a number of writers, most of whom are men. Weirdly.

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    What I liked were the Wonkette comments such as:

    Novick will restore your faith in politics single-handedly.
    and:
    As a Senator I am sure Novick will be all-right.
    but also:
    Did anyone else here read the whole wikipedia article? This guy fucking went to college in his teens because his Jr. high shut down, then graduated Harvard law at 21. Also, he has the rare gift among democrats of calling a spade a spade in very few words. Can we please have Novick for president in 2016? After 8 years of smart black dude, I think we'll be ready for a badass child prodigy gnome who happens to have a couple of half-formed limbs.
    The comments get more salty from there.

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    It's nice every once in a while to get a laugh out of the race. Too many times it seems like a bar brawl.

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    I know most of the Novick fans I talked to loved it. I especially liked, "He's so adorable! I want to get one!"

    I see what might seem harsh (calling a short guy a hobbit, for example), but that stuff just seems to roll of Steve--and there's really a lot of serious admiration coursing through that thread.

    I can only say amen to Evan. I will bet anyone $20 he appears on the cover of a major national magazine between the primary and the general if he wins Tuesday. But for every extra cover he makes after the first one, you pay me another $20. We can haggle over what "major" means.

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    I laughed at the Wonkette post about Novick until I almost cried.

    Seriously, is there anyone in the country running for office right now who gets more/better "earned media" than Novick?

  • Daniel Spiro (unverified)
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    I agree with what everyone is saying. Those comments are wickedly funny.

  • Daniel Spiro (unverified)
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    This was my favorite. It needs no introduction:

    "Did anyone else here read the whole wikipedia article? This guy fucking went to college in his teens because his Jr. high shut down, then graduated Harvard law at 21. Also, he has the rare gift among democrats of calling a spade a spade in very few words. Can we please have Novick for president in 2016? After 8 years of smart black dude, I think we'll be ready for a badass child prodigy gnome who happens to have a couple of half-formed limbs."

  • James X. (unverified)
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    Surely, though, the guy owns a fake parrot. At least for Halloween, right? He's got to.

  • Dan (unverified)
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    As long as that parrot is not a Norwegian Blue...

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    "Pirate Jesus" made me weep with laughter.

    But seriously, "Black Butte Porter ftw"? Fail. Epic Fail. Does not want.

    You people take Rob and Kurt for granted, and you should be punished for it.

  • Bpaul (unverified)
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    Holy crap they've got some witty commenters over there, that was a hilarious read!

  • not feelin' it (unverified)
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    I agree the Wonkette post is pretty funny. But I still don't get why Novick supporters think this kind shallow of press coverage over his physical appearance makes him qualified to beat Gordon Smith. Its just the same story over and over and over again. I support recycling, but I'm getting tired of reading the same thing again and again. Hate to break it to you folks, but the novelty will wear off well before November even if some east coast news outlets still pick it up likes its something new and cool. Its Oregon voters that matter, not Fox news, east coast bloggers, and ESPN articles on athletes with prosthetic limbs.

    And what's with that misleading negative mailer I got from Novick this week? I thought he just had a press conference criticizing Merkley for taking things out of context. Novick is starting to lose his marbles if he actually thinks he can credibly lay blame on Merkley for 'failing to deliver' on Healthy Kids when the Republicans in the House locked up in support of big tobacco, and big tobacco subsequently spent $12 million to kill Measure 51. So Steve could have gotten to 36 votes with a locked up Republican caucus if he was Speaker? Right. Its just more stone throwing at Democrats, when Republicans are the ones to blame. Classy. Its hard to trust Steve when this misleading stuff comes out and he double talks when it comes to negative campaign tactics.

    The Oregonian's Mapes chronicle's Steve's acrobatics and the progressive reaction here - http://blog.oregonlive.com/mapesonpolitics/2008/05/novick_raises_ruckus_with_new.html#more

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    Being the leader of the majority means you're responsible for the success or failure of the bills in session. He's certainly taken personal credit for a ream of bills that others championed as hard if not harder, and as leader he's entitled to some extra credit, sure. But he has the accountability when a pet program fails to see enactment.

    It is shortsighted and itself rather distortive to pretend that Merkley's responsibility for the bill rests with the final vote of the final bill. Who said it had to be cigarette taxes? (I supported the idea, but it was still the majority's choice, and surely they knew the difficulty). What about holding education funding from coming all the way back in one biennium and cutting some poor kids a break out of the general budget, thus only needing 31 votes?

    Or let's ride with the bill that came out. Only through legislative blunder should a clause spelling out 36 votes made it into 3rd reading. That killed any chance for that bill right there. Had it not been there, the Speaker held competing opinions on the number of votes for a referral to raise revenue rather than a straight revenue bill. It was his call. The Leg Counsel opinion is traditionally but not technically binding; it is subject to suit in theory but to my knowledge has not been challenged. The question of standing I would think would turn on the fact that it has to be someone in the House to have been theoretically aggrieved by the "abuse."

    And for pity's sake, what rational basis is there for making a referral to the voters subject to a supermajority, when the whole point is to let the voters decide?

    All of which is to say that Merkley and his team crafted a specific bill for child health care that did not work. It was all their eggs, and it failed. It is so pathetic that this would be called a distortion, when it's overtly factual: Jeff Merkley failed to pass Healthy Kids legislation. Why? Who can we blame? Well, we can talk about that for hours, can't we? But he did fail. And to get all huffy about being held accountable for the same record he has used as a proxy for his future plans, strikes me as pretty shallow.

  • edison (unverified)
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    Saw the Wonkette thing when it first came out. I thought it was hilarious. But, apparently not not feelin' it. not's obvious concern is noted but since so many like not seem think Steve won't be the candidate after next Tuesday, relax, it'll be over soon. But thank you anyway, not, for inserting some sobriety to this post. Beat Smith!

  • Kim Shaffer (unverified)
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    Let's help make Steve Novick the "Pirate of the Senate"! /yar.

  • trishka (unverified)
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    ::falls off chair laughing::

    thanks for this, kari. i never would have found it on my own.

    my personal favorite was:

    Did Steve lose his hand to a loose seal while swimming in the ocean?

    but then i can NEVER resist an arrested development reference.

  • Micah (unverified)
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    Does this mean Kari's finally in the tank for Novick?

  • Roger Veritas (unverified)
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    [Off-topic comment deleted. -editor.]

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