Let's Graze Cattle on Sean Hannity's Lawn

Steve Novick

Sean Hannity says that "the ranch standoff that took place out in Nevada was not about a man named Cliven Bundy." Some people are making fun of Hannity for "distancing" himself from Bundy, but I take Hannity at his word. Hannity was standing up for a principle. And that principle, of course, is that a man has a right to graze his cattle anywhere he damn well pleases, whether the land belongs to him or not.

And today it occurred to me that there is a way that we, Hannity's defenders, can give him a chance to demonstrate that it was that principle that he really cares about. It's simple: Let's grab some cattle, find Sean Hannity's house, and let them loose on his lawn.

I've seen pictures of Hannity's house (the Centre Island house, that is, not the Long Island one he's selling), and I think you could comfortably run twenty, thirty head of cattle there, easy. It's conveniently located in Nassau County, and I'm sure there are lots of farmer's markets in the neighborhood, when you're ready to start selling Hannity-farmed beef.

Of course, most people would probably call the cops or at least animal control, if you released a couple dozen steers on their lawn. But Sean Hannity understands that law enforcement has no business messing with a man's cattle.

So - who's got some cattle? Who has Sean Hannity's street address? Who's got a livestock trailer? Let's get this show on the road. Let's give our man a chance to prove that he means what he says: It's not about one man, it's about a principle.

By Steve Novick April 28, 2014